Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Should a Committed Man hang w/his Single friends?

So, I've been thinking about this topic for a minute. You know the scenario.... your guy is the only one out of his group of friends that is in a serious relationship , and all of his friends are single and ready to mingle. So, your guy is out on the town with his boys ..... I have a couple of viewpoints on this scenario.

We as women sometimes let our mind play tricks on us . The power of the psyche is serious. You may be sitting around imagining your guy grinding up on a female or vice versa. Or, maybe your envisioning a stripper with her body all over his during a seductive lap dance. But, in all actuality things are not at all what they seem. When men go out together its more about doing the male bonding thing than it is about females. It's much like when you have Girls Night Out are you trolling for a new piece of just simply enjoying your girlfriends? You've got to control your mind not the other way around.

The next thing is TRUST. Why did you enter into a relationship...was it to doubt the man? Why did he agree to the relationship? ( Take notes a man will not do anything he doesn't want to do ) You have been hurt before because you trusted a male. But, guess what ? He wasn't the male that hurt you so don't punish him for someone elses mistakes. You have got to trust that your man has a mind of his own and a very keen sense of right and wrong. So, while his friends may single he KNOWS that he isn't. You've got to trust him to act accordingly. Now, I will say TRUST but don't be Blind. Keep your eyes open for signs that your man may be impressionable.

Misery does love company. Now, some single men aren't happy being single so they really want their Boy back. Recognize that also. In that case , your ,MAN should be able to distinguish that this is not a friend that is concerned about his well being. If this is the case he should be able to feed this particular person with a long handled spoon. Ladies take note here....It is not your job to make him aware. A female can never come in between a man and his friends. You must know your role.

Strip clubs, night clubs,and "mancations" are the female equivalent to the mall, the hair salon, and those lovely cruises that we go on with our besties. All parts that make up the whole must have its own identity. He must be free to hang with his boys just the same as you hang with your girls.
A plus side to the strip club if he goes when he comes home be prepared for some hellified sex.

Communication is key if you feel discomfort let the other party know. Think of some ground rules. For instance, I told my hubby I care not what you do as long as its done before 2:30 a.m.. This is something we both agreed was reasonable. If I go out I adhere to the same rule.

But, a real mind blower is this .....if you are the best you that you can be in the relationship........He's not messing that up for anyone not even the single ready to mingle friend that he has.

~Miss B

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