Monday, January 11, 2010

Single Moms Raising Boys

I am a single mom raising three boys and this is a topic that I love to delve into. Can a mother teach her son to be a man? Is it possible for you to be mom and dad? How do you handle boys when you aren't familiar with what boys go through or feel?

Well for starters it is my personal belief that a mother cannot teach her son how to be a man. However, what she can do is teach her son all of the values and morals that are necessary for her son to mature into an exceptional man. All children learn by example. So, as moms we have to be cautious of the things that we subject our children to. Even more we have to be cautious of the people that we allow to be around our children as it is essential that they have positive people around them.

Can you be the mom and the dad? It may feel like you are but, I assure you that you are not and simply cannot be both. Moms are just that Moms. We do everything sure ,but you can never take the role as dad because he is his own entity, and your child is aware of that. So, what that means is that you can play ball and take him to games ,but he will always yearn for his dad. While some children can adapt to change there are some who can't. The best thing to do is to just let your child know that you can't be daddy ,but you are doing the best that you can to make sure that he doesn't want or need anything. This no easy feat though. Brace yourself for the positive and negative experiences you may experience with your child. Remember each child handles things differently. Don't make the mistake of comparing your kids. Be flexible as each child has different needs.

How do you handle boys? You take it one step at a time. It will take lots of trial and error. Boys are loud, destructive, and they can be quite sassy. The most effective strategy is to ignore certain behaviors. Fighting is normal as long as no one is getting hurt its safe to just ignore it. Never get involved in kids quarreling, let them work it out. I learned these things through lots of error. I am not telling you anything that I haven't experienced myself. The next thing boys have to be kept busy or they will drive you absolutely nuts.

All I can say for a single mom raising a son is you will fall many times as a parent, dust yourself off and start fresh.

From one single mom to another!

~Miss B

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